To Hold Onto
by Ruemaja
Summary: In which Edward realizes who can save him and what he holds onto. RoyEdward shounen ai


"To Hold Onto"

First entry: September 11, 2005 (7:02 pm)  
Last entry: September 11, 2005 (8:38 pm)

The skies were dark and cloudy. It was cold but it wasn't raining. The streets were covered with sheet of white ice. It was snowing. Despite the warmth of the room, Edward still felt cold as he touched the glass window with his flesh hand. His breath hot against the window, clearing it only for a brief moment but it soon clouds over and once again, he couldn't see what was outside.

The fire crackled and burned brightly in the room yet a shiver crawled up his spine. He shuddered and drew his jacket closer to his body as if it would do him any good.

His auto-mail was made of cold metal. It made him colder still. He hated the feeling but he could never confess this to anyone. Not even his own brother.

Especially to his brother, Alphonse.

It was enough that he is troubled by the forgotten memories, though Edward would say that it was better that way. It would be too painful.

_Ignorance is a bliss._ He thought. And he knew that it was.

It would be enough that only he knew so at least there would not be too much pain.

Edward turned to the small room they occupied. However Alphonse wasn't there, he had to take a trip back to their hometown to visit Winry and Aunt Pinako. Edward didn't want to go this time. He was going to stay here and watch the city sleep within the cold sheets of snow. Besides, what else is he supposed to do there? He'll just get hit by a wrench by Winry. It'll cause more pain that comfort. Though he wouldn't admit it to himself, they were his comfort.

But now he felt like he was going to leave something behind if he left Central. He just waved at Alphonse as the train moved off to it's destination. And he wondered why?

He looked down at his metallic hand then out the window. He blew onto the window pane and it clouded up even more than it previously had. With his warm soft hands he lifted his finger and wrote a name.

_Roy_

As if these letters, this name, held all of the answers and all truth in the world in this side of the gate and the other.

The truth of everything. The truth that even the concept of "Equivalent trade" couldn't be compared to. The truth of universe.

Through the name written by his finger on his breath he could see Roy below walking besides Riza and he scowled.

Roy! He called out opening his mouth as if to scream but no sound came out. Below Roy spoke to Riza while the lady smiled but Edward didn't see that it was a rather sad smile. Edward stepped back as if burnt, from where he stood feeling warm tears flowing down as he glared at his mismatched hands and clenched both hands.

What was he holding onto?

_Roy…_

What was he holding onto?

Roy…

He fell, back first, with a thud but he didn't feel the pain even though blood had begun to crawl onto the floorboards from where he lay.

_Roy…_

As if the name would save him.

A figure burst into the room. He couldn't see very well because his vision had already started to blur with the darkness that had begun to swirl about him. He was cold but was suddenly warm when strong arms held onto him as if trying to bring him back from the bleak darkness. He thought he was dreaming.

He thought he was seeing Roy. And he smiled, weakly.

"Roy…" He murmured reaching up.

"Ed! What happened! You're bleeding!" The figure who looked like asked frantically.

"Roy…" He murmured almost desperate. "Roy… is that you…?"

"Who else would I be!"

That voice was unmistakable and the warm face that he touched felt heavenly. Edward smiled, weakly.

"Roy…"

Roy sighed in relief. The bleeding had stopped and the warm hand on his cheek was proof enough that the Full Metal Alchemist will live. He smiled gently, holding onto the boy, tenderly.

"Hush now, Edward…" Roy's voice whispered into his ear. "I'll be here when you wake…"

Edward closed his eyes and allowed the darkness to claim him. Finally safe in Roy's strong arms.

END


End file.
